Three Wolf Moon "Official" T-Shirt Review of the Afternoon: Statutory Marriage

From John Sherlock:

5 out of 5 stars

"My life has totally changed since the purchase of this shirt. My cousin/wife always told me that all we needed in life was a Lexus SUV, some hair gel, a gold chain, and designer clothes. However, she's only 9 so what does she know. I being a bit of hellion decided to break from my Irish Traveler roots. Once I put this shirt on I felt the raw power of the wolf travel through my veins.

I've gained a new found confidence that has allowed me to defraud over 200 elderly couples in the past 6 months alone. I even get free biscuits at Red Lobster when I where this baby. Wolf shirts FTMFW IYAM!"

Three Wolf Moon "Official" T-Shirt Review of the Day: How To Gamble Properly

From Ross Kilburn:

"I went to my local casino two days ago to have a drink with a friend. I had an amazing experience I had to share with you.

First of all, I never gamble. I don't like the odds. But, we decided anyway to gamble away $20 dollars.

We looked around trying to decide where to blow the money. We looked at the card tables, the roulette wheel, and finally, the slot machines.

And then I saw it. A slot machine with a big wolf's head on it.

I instantly remembered the power of the wolf t-shirt and confidently walked over to the machine.

We put in our $20 dollars. It was a very complicated machine (to us) and we asked the grizzled woman at the next chair how to bet. She guided us expertly (like a wise elder) and we proceeded to double our money in the first two spins.

She recommended we cash out $20 to bank our winnings. We obediently complied (as if in a trance of wolf spirit and earth mother). We spun a couple of more times, won again, and realized that our glorious moment was complete.

We cashed out, more than doubling our money, and walked out of the casino feeling high. This is my first post on amazon in my entire life. If you can't buy this shirt, do as I did, and let it guide you throughout your life."

You can check out all the reviews here.