Saturday, October 2, 2010

It's Hooooodieeeeeee Tiiiiiiiiime

Note: you really only have to watch the first 30 seconds of this, after that it's on loop. Also, this past week's episode had a new, funny variation from Pauly and Vinny.

When I was in high school and then college, the guys used to always have strange mundane things that became in-jokes, or rather, less than in-jokes, just something we would shout about or whatever. Mostly expletives in high school, then a more refined nonsense in college and random nicknames. Everyone has these, but we definitely did it to the point of annoyance, but that's what made the urge even stronger. And we did it loud.

What impressed me about the past couple episodes of MTV's Jersey Shore was that the guys started getting into "It's T-Shirt Time", something to just repeat over and over again instead of conversation because you know, they are getting ready to get ripped. It's awesomely childish and they've managed to work in their pre-game process into the mix. I will definitely be getting this as my new ringtone (Glee's version of Don't Stop Believing probably has worn out it's welcome). It's to assert a collectiveness through chant. Very old school.

Anywho, since we're not frolicking in the hotness that is Miami (at least my girlfriend confirms that), and since Brooklyn is full of the mid-60s weather today, it's officially time to turn over to "It's Hoodie Time." I love hoodies, and the collection is starting to grow, half of them free so far, but I've made some choices that I would consider fashionable over the last while. I've got kinds of hoodies, but none of them are hip, don't worry hardcore fans would be down with it. You can call it a hooded sweatshirt but I won't just because it's too many syllables and I'm lazy. I think a good hoodie does include pockets or that kangaroo pocket if it's not a zip up, but that's just for functionality so you can hide your hands and scratch your belly in secret. If you have cargo shorts on, A+ for leaving legs exposed and over-covering the top. Hardcore dude. My girlfriend calls me on it every time and I just smile and shrug my shoulders. I was never about a sensible fashion, but you'll see glimpses every once in a while. Super casual though.

There's your sentimental old zip up dirty hoodie, only really good for occasions of workmanlike demeanor.

There's your wacky ghetto hoodie, as evidenced by the baby blue zip up (all the way, so I look like an alien) with Superman logos and dollar signs in equal proportion.

There's your hoodie-that-no-one-else-has, a comfortable pullover with boxing gloves printed on the front as if they were hanging from your neck.

There's your Blade Trinity promo hoodie. Well that's not much to be desired.

There's your....wait I take it back I have one hip hoodie. Venture Bros. hoodie. Wait I have a Williams Street hoodie too. The hipness NOOOO....

There's your two Patriots hoodies, one with just the old school logo to match my leg. Is that necessary (or to make it a joke, is tat necessary)? Well I'm a fan so it is. Don't worry, The Town might only win one or no Oscars this year, you know how they don't really award thriller/dramas too often.

Promo Smashing Pumpkins hoodie. Second incarnation, and not relevant. Promo Fracture hoodie. Because Ryan Gosling is a great actor right?

Descendents hoodie from shady-looking online store. It's the hoodie that provides the most coverage of the head area but also makes my legs look short because well it goes down to my frickin' knees.

Yelp Elite hoodie, which is kind of like my small tight hoodie in case you need to floor punch or just look like you need a slightly bigger hoodie. It's cool looking, so I dig and I wear.

RPI hoodie, just to represent upstate NY that isn't Buffalo. "Where are you from?" - "Albany." "Oh I know someone from Buffalo." - "That's 5 hours away with totally different accents."

Sweater vest hoodie, you know, in case people have tickets to the bare arms show.

I'm not a size 29 waist so threadbare hoodies aren't really my thing; they should be substantial either in style or thickness in my humble opinion. The thin ones seem a little too much about the fashion and loose the warmth and initial purpose of something so down-to-earth. It could also be really understated too. But please don't be an Ed Hardy hoodie. I'll have to kick you in the peen for that, who decided glittery prints of someone's doodle pad and an occasional tiger was a good idea?

A good hoodie feels right: it doesn't restrict you like a coat or jacket, and you can look SO angry in one. You don't know what's going on with a guy or girl who has an awesome hoodie on, you just know they are covered. Especially in places like Brooklyn or the city or wherever where walking is essential most of the time, there's like a palpable time for it, and that's when I start to talk about it as if it's some awesome concert I'm going to and befuddle any sane person around me. They give you weight, this street appropriate attire, it's like a letterman jacket post high school. And for me personally, it's just been somewhat a part of the fashion that some of the music I like gravitates toward. Loves me some hoodies.

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