Wednesday, February 24, 2010

Secret Restaurant In Park Slope? Eh ra, not anymore bitches!

I don't like how the term "secret" used in conjunction with a bar or restaurant nowadays just kind of means trendy. Sure, people will say, hey, this is New York, if you don't like trendy, you can go elsewhere. I say fuck that. If something is written about in the local papers, it's no longer a secret. So when I see in Brownstoner that there is a secret restaurant behind Loki, I immediately think, LAMESAUCE.

For instance, when PDT first came out, I was like, this is awesome because you enter through a fake wall/phonebooth, not because it's a "secret" that got out. But the hype and idea of inaccessibility turned into trendy business is something that doesn't interest me that much. It doesn't do a business justice when labeled "secret", because that's just a label that high horse foodies and local media use to fill up their day. It's impossible to keep things secret in this city; the whole idea is to spill the beans about a secret place thereby destroying it's secrecy just to be the first person in your group of friends who has the honor of hyping something down the toilet.

So the "buzz" (why does that word suck so much) is that there's a new restaurant behind Loki. Park Slope doesn't really have the nooks and crannies to allow for real secrets. Follow that up with the fact that Loki is kind of a meh bar with no real character compared to their contemporaries in the area, you have something akin to impotency. I'm sure people disagree, but I say who cares?

In conclusion, I am in favor of of using the word "hidden" vs. the word "secret" when referring to an out-of-the-way place in the city, Brooklyn, Queens, whatever. Some random hole in the wall joint by an abandoned farm is a secret. These places are just hidden. Hidden also has a sense of urgency, like you should find it. It's a "find". It's almost more adventurous. Secrets that are by definition broken just makes it a oxymoron in a sense. Maybe I'm looking into this too much. Or, maybe I'm just pissed that I didn't find it first. But I'm not. Meh.

In tribute to useless trendiness, here's Soulja Boy's 'Girl You Stank Take A Bath'

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